Been Awhile...

For those of you who have been worried about my "post-Colin" depression...I'm ok. Looking back, the stress and emotional agony of his sickness, pending death, and struggling with how to handle it was way worse than the actual "after". I still miss him, but knowing he's much happier and in a better place is a huge comfort. As is having the "boys" filling the physical hole left by Colin. They are everywhere! Although, I do sometimes get my feelings hurt a bit when they'd rather wrestle with each other than cuddle with me, like old man Colin used to. But I suppose they'll slow down. Eventually.

However, I have been feeling a sort of depression for at least the last month. Maybe not depression...more like a feeling of being under water. I haven't had energy. I feel like I'm constantly behind and not getting enough done. It may still be leftovers from the stress with Colin. But I intend to start focusing more on making every day count.

I had a bit of a revelation last night. I've been reading "Creating a Life Worth Living". It's mostly geared toward "artists". And while they were talking about finding a day job that allows you to create, I realized that my "day job" would always be more important to me than my art. I am a wife and a homeschooling mom. That just plain trumps everything else. I realized that even without my creative hobbies, I could live a very creative LIFE. Teaching takes creativity....and between homeschooling and Sunday School, I have ample opportunity to be creative! I've been feeling the urge to put more time and creativity into my cooking...I've been a major slacker in that department for months! And if we actually follow through on moving to a new house (info to follow), redecorating that 70's dream would take a ton of creativity. See, so I really don't NEED to DO anything more with my art. I don't need to market myself, start a business....I can be an artist in the place I am now. Someday my kids will be gone, and then I, too, can move on....

Ok. The house. I'm not giving details...it's way too soon. But this weeked we visited an open house on a house we saw earlier this spring. It's on 5 acres, fenced for horses (not sure if that's a good thing or not?) It would need a lot of work...I'm sure it was a rockstar when it was built in 1970. :) So, price is an issue. As well as the dread of selling this house, moving, etc. But I feel called to the quiet and privacy of the country. We'll see...

Here's a couple of layouts from 2 Saturdays ago. Barry took the girls fishing, so I got some "me" time. Bless that man for knowing when a woman needs some time alone!


And look who joined me on my scrapping table!

These two boys do everything together. Play, sleep, eat.....

I love this picture! Yes, I take more pictures of Zach than TJ. No, I'm not playing favorites. But after 11 years of having an unphotogenic black cat, gray is a welcome change....

No, he's not stretching. He was actually sleeping in this position....

I've developed a couple of nicknames for the boys. Zach is "Fuzz Ball" because, well, he is one. And TJ I call "Junior", as in "Colin Junior". Black cat, white spot......