Gloomy Days...

Today, so far, is dark, rainy and dreary. And that's the mood inside our house as well. We found out yesterday that Colin's kidneys have failed completely, and they were unable to jump start them again. Today, after being shown how to give him hostice care, we will bring him home to die. There's no way to know how long we'll have...it could be 2 days, it could be 2 years.

I'm thankful for my faith. The old me would've been angry with God...demanding to know why. At this point in my life I can accept that He has a purpose beyond my understanding. I'm very sad...crying all the time...feeling like a zombie. But at least I hold no anger and I have a bit of peace knowing Colin will be in God's hands. I told the kids that God must want Colin home, and that maybe He was opening out home and hearts to other kitties who needed us. Coincidentally, the vet has 2 boy kittens who need a home, together. It seems that when God closes one door, he really does open another. :)

And at the same time, I can be thankful that my kids are learning to cope with death this way, instead of the jolt of losing a "human" loved one. Although, it doesn't feel much easier at this point.

Not sure how good I'll be at getting back here for awhile. I'm supposed to be preparing for school to start, but we may spend that time creating memory books to celebrate our time with Colin. Thanks for listening to me work through my grief. Please keep us in your prayers.