So, when we first got Alana's allergy tests results back, I think I was in shock. Probably how I would've been if Erin's diabetes diagnosis had been a little less "dramatic". Then, I think I moved into "faithful gratitude". I was thankful to God for blessing me... I guess I should explain that, huh? I was thankful that we were homeschooling...cuz I can't imagine having Alana on this "bean diet" and having so many allergies and having to send her to school! I was thankful that God made me to be a research and book geek...first of all, if I hadn't done the research in the first place, I probably wouldn't have known to test her for allergies...and I'd probably have her on narcotics for her ADD and steroids for her "asthma". But not only that, but now I have the ability and tools to care for my family. And then there's my thankfulness for a supportive hubby (most of the time!), and his job that allows us to buy the nutritious food we need. I'm thankful for the great friends who listen to me whine and make bean jokes. :) And for my mom who tells me what a good job I'm doing, when I (and others) doubt myself.
So, today I went on a shopping mission to find gluten-free/casein-free/dairy-free/egg-free/preservative free food. If you're as naive as I was, you might think that sounds fairly easy. Just buy "healthy" food, right? Wrong! Seriously...try it. Not so easy. Or fun. I came home broke, defeated, sad, and mad. Mad at God. Mad at Him for putting us through this. Mad at Him for taking so much away from us. I came home and yelled at my kids. And I cried. For their "sicknesses". For my "failure" as a mother. For the loss of ice cream, and cereal, and Snickers bars.
Funny how He works, though. He's good. I also came home to this month's Home School Enrichment magazine. I turned to an article titled, "The Harvest Lasts a Lifetime", by Jonathin Lewis. Here's where God spoke to me....
"When the storm comes, it's easy to look around us and see only the dark clouds, hear only the ominous thunder, and feel nothing but the strong wind. How easy it is to forget the sunlight when it's obscured by the gathering clouds."
"The storm lasts only a season, but the harvest lasts forever."
"Whatever we sow, we will also reap. (Galatians 6:7)"
The author is talking about homeschooling, of course. But I'm in a storm now with my kid's health. This hard work, "pain", change, and relearning how to cook and eat, what we sow, will reap much better health for us all. We need to treat our bodies as temples, entrusted to us by God...and we haven't been. Lesson learned. But I have to remember that the sun will shine again.
So, after all that, I'm still in rough shape. It doesn't help that Barry is on day 7 of a virus that has tied him to bed and kept him from work. And if you know my hubby, you'll know that he doesn't get sick, and he certainly doesn't miss work. So it's bad. No, it's not the swine flu...he tested negative for influenza. So, I've been on my own for a week. Throw that in with the "health crisis", extra work with meals, my house still in chaos, homeschooling (it's May...we're tired)...well, I'm just not in tip-top shape emotionally. :)
But the Lord has given me gifts to get me through it. He's also kept me physically healthy while my partner has been down. And a reminder that the sun will shine again....
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